January 2010
33 posts
TFLN.
(847): Just woke up in a hotel room. Realized it was the hotel I work at. Let’s see how this walk of shame turns out.
The Greatest List of Thoughts Ever.
yerawizardharry:
More often than not, when someone is telling me a story all I can think about is that I can’t wait for them to finish so that I can tell my own story that’s not only better, but also more directly involves me.
Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you’re wrong.
I don’t understand the purpose of the line, “I don’t...
Will Smith + Family Guy = All I Ever Need.
Stewie:(to himself) Alright dog, here we go. Prepare to lose a bet cause I’m about to become the most popular boy in school.
Uh, excuse me, pardon me, are you the cool children? Connie: Yeah, who are you? Stewie: My name is Zach Sawyer. I just transferred here from rich, expensive, car driving sex having high school Girl: Whoa, that sounds awesome. Stewie: No, it’s lame....
Brief Excerpt from Book: Why 2006 Broke My Heart
Did you ever see that ‘Family Guy’ episode where they make fun of Dawson’s Creek?
Teen #1: Dude let me tell you something. There’s nothing that’ll ever happen for the rest of our lives that’s more important then what’s going on right here right now in high school by these lockers. Teen #2: I’ve got so many problems. Teen #1: Hey, it’s nothing...
One Part of a Text Message That Will Really Make...
Travis: It’s ‘cuz we’re legit, home slice. And don’t forget about the Cow Town King.
Excerpt from Upcoming Book: The 1984 Draft
The following is an excerpt from my upcoming book on the Dallas Mavericks and the NBA in Dallas.
Let me make something clear: this was not Darko Milicic over Dwayne Wade. This was not Sam Perkins over Michael Jordan. This was not even Robert Swift over Al Jefferson; but in The Draft of All Drafts, it was a mistake. Nay – a misfortune.
Even after a successful 1983-84 season in which the team...
Wednesday Tim: Sports Facts You Never Knew.
Here’s some funny/hard-to-believe/random sports facts to read over your lunch break:
In the 2005 NBA Draft, Celtics GM Danny Ainge offered the Seattle Supersonics an EXTRA NUMBER ONE PICK to switch places with Boston in that draft. The reason? Ainge was obsessed with Bakersfield High School product Robert Swift. The Supersonics said no, kept their pick and drafted Swift. The Celtics? They...
My Coffee Table is No Longer In the Living Room.
Danielle: Where are we going to eat and watch TV?
Me: How about we sit at the dining room table for a change?
Danielle. That’s different.
The beginnings of my book.
Note: In light of Dirk Nowitzki’s 20,000th point, I’ve decided to write a book on the Dallas Mavericks and their history. This is the beginnings; read and let me know what you think.
Sometimes, in sports, landing on the wrong side of a 50/50 decision can set one franchise back a decade and the other one forward. What if Portland had decided to draft Michael Jordan instead of Sam...
“Writing to ‘get it right the first time’ is like driving a car with the...”
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Danielle Finally Goes Grocery Shopping.
Danielle: Spaghettios are ten for ten dollars, and you’d better believe I’m buying ten cans.
Texting with Tony.
Tony: Eff T-Mac. I’d trade him for an extra nut.
Me: My God, man.
Tony: I really don’t think that’s an unfair trade. Both take up the same amount of cap space.
Me: I don’t even know what to say to that. This is literally my first text message of the morning.
Tony: You have a Twitter again? Jackass.
105.3 The Fan
“I would trust a covered Jason Witten over a wide open Roy Williams. Hell, I would trust a covered Newy Scrubbs over a wide open Roy Williams.”
Texting with Brock.
Brock: Only three things in the world could keep me from watching that game last night: Star Wars on television, updating my fantasy basketball team, and steak. All three of those things happened.
Me: It took you three hours to update your fantasy basketball team?
Brock: My team sucks really bad.
11 Funniest-But-Real Business Names, Dirty... →
Texting with Kevin.
Kevin: Dude, Batman lives in his parent’s basement.
Me: Pardon?
Kevin: Batman. Parent’s basement. Watch the movie and tell me I’m not right.
Me: Sorry, I’ll probably be hanging out with my ridiculously hot girlfriend.
Kevin: Owned.
